emilyann

I’ve really been working hard this week as far as eating. Not great on excersize but one thing at a time. Anyway I weighed my self this morning and I was 119. Now i know that’s not actual weight gone in a week and a lot is probably water weight since I just got up but it’s still nice to see the scale moving!! YAY!

So yesterday i did pretty good. Ate very very healthy and actually went for a 30 minute walk with my son. Baby steps but at least it’s something. I had chicken tenderloins in the microwave…hardly any calories…..Then my darling man …feel free to hear the sarcasm….decided to order chinese food. Now…any question I had about my suspicions he’s trying to sabatoge me have been confirmed. Chinese food is my FAVORITE food. I even told him before he ordered it that he was trying to ruin my diet with that  and the chocolate from the night before. He NEVER actually calls the place…my job…but last night he did. Well….when it got there all I ate was the steamed brocolli…about 3 pieces…from the seseme chicken box. I didn’t eat ANY of the chicken or rice or eggrolls. I feel really good about it and really mad at the boy.

     On a not so happy note I tried on some jeans that I wore before i got preggo with my son and while i could button them there was a ridiculous ammount of fat hanging over the edges where before they were loose. I understand fully the expression muffin top.  I miss the days of throwing on a jeans and tank top and not even having to look in the mirror because I knew I looked okay….not beauty queen or anything but okay to go to the store. Now I don’t even want to leave the house.

Just thought I’d write about the first day. I ate a big salad, no cheese or anything, and a plate of green beans with a little corn…straight from the can and microwaved. I also ate 5 tortilla chips and half a 3 musketeer’s . The 3 musketeer’s was sooooooo my mans fault. He knew i was dieting and went out and bought a 1/2 pound Hershey bar and 4 3 musketeer’s bars. I’m going to freeze the huge one and send the others to work with him tomorrow. I hate to think he’s doing it to ruin my diet on purpose but it seems like it. Anyone else have that happen? I’m going to try to wait as long as possible before weighing myself as not to get discouraged early. Hopefully tomorrow i can get into see a doctor to change my seizure meds. They make me soooo hungry and the doctor says that people usually gain weight. I even made brownies last night for the hubby and had literally 1 bite…that made me feel good. I’m ready to go shopping when he gets out of work (since i’m not allowed to drive yet) and go out and buy some healthy food. I didn’t eat much yesterday because there’s nothing but junk here but I know I need to eat to keep my metabolism up. I usually eat, when dieting, a lot of salad, grilled chicken breast (george foreman grill),  whole wheat tortillas (if i absolutely have a carb craving), carrots, coffee, tuna, and I found a really great fat free, calorie free, carb free, sugar free, pretty much everything free salad dressing. It’s not gourmet tasting or anything but it tastes good and gives me the freedom to use dressing without feeling guilty or having to put it on the side with my salad. Anyway…i’ll stop rambling for now. I love this site already. You are all awesome and i’m soooo excited to have found all of you!!

So…this is the first day on this site…i’m super excited and optimistic that i’m on my way to achieving my goals…however…i do realize that i ALWAYS feel like that when starting a new diet. I’m a Gemini…great at starting lots of things….not so great at finishing. I just keep reminding myself how yucky I feel right now…for some reason I always feel great while i’m eating something horrible for me and only bad afterwards…i’ve thought about smoking again but I don’t think lung cancer is a good trade off for extra weight…we’ll see. I’m going to try to keep the calories under 1000 today…that means sending hubby to the store since I can’t drive for another couple of months due to the seizures…..to expand on that…a couple weeks ago I dropped my daughter off at school and drove home with my son in the back…the next thing i knew I woke up on the ground and couldn’t find my son…turns out he was in the car..which was on and in drive crashed into a trash can. He was fine. Later at the hospital I had another one and ended up staying several days. Needless to say the state of Texas decided I shouldn’t drive for awhile. No complaints from me.